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With a long and illustrious history stretching far back into the last
century, the staff of the Academy for Misspent Youths and I pride
ourselves on the hard-earned reputation that this venerable
establishment has gained for fostering excellence and achievement -
whether in the halls of learning or on the field of play. For an
institution noted for its uniquely short terms of only 3 days duration
(and consequently the longest holidays in the academic world), this is
not an inconsiderable feat, and is in no small part due to our
traditional admissions policy - a rigorous selection process whereby
enrolment is invited from only those with the requisite qualities: a
stratospheric Intelligence Quotient, a willingness to work hard and
play hard, and a healthy bank balance...
While some would consider this policy to be 'elitist' (and most others would probably agree with them), the main restriction to attendance is, in fact, the one imposed by the limited classroom space available - which in the past has meant that as few as one in four of the potential applicants have eventually been able to secure places. This is obviously a most regrettable situation - not only for the unsuccessful candidates, but also for our depleted school coffers - so to bypass any unnecessary entrance examination procedures and ensure that your application is among those that are accepted, simply complete and return the Enrolment Form as quickly as possible. Please make sure to forward the necessary remuneration, as for us 'Redundum Upfruntum' is not so much an old school motto as a sacred code to live by...
This school website will be continually updated with information, and further details will be made available in the next issue of the IQ periodical, and in our occasional electronic newsletter, the ILMC eNews. Applicants are advised to study them well, as these texts may be subject of examination questions later.
We look forward to welcoming your progeny on the first day of what promises to be a challenging and stimulating new term on March 10th, 2006. Whatever else they may gain from the experience, I personally guarantee that they will graduate with a full and practical understanding of the significance behind one of the most important equations in modern thinking: 'ILMC=18'.
Martin Hopewell
pp: Professor Hardnock
Headmaster
The Academy for Misspent Youths
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